Some say love is a numbers game. But guys say love is a rightswipe game. And I’d have to agree.

While I used to be more selective with my rightswiping methodology, I’ve since taken to the Gronkowski theory of Tinder. Basically, Gronk advises that you right swipe on everyone. Thankfully, Tinder doesn’t let your matches know that you indeed have options. Your 1,000 new matches will have no idea that your new rightswiping process has resulted in you being the most interesting man on Tinder. When you find the one, maybe you should show respect to Gronk by spiking her. Otherwise, what is love anyway?

Here’s a little insight into the mind of a guy (me) on Tinder. Want to be rightswiped? As unappealing and perverse as that may sound, see below:

1. Girls. Do NOT show pictures of you with another man.

How are we supposed to know it was your dad? Pops looks like he’s in his early 40s, which means you could be into older guys or just really like a touch of gray. Either way, avoid all pictures with my competitors (all other guys).

2. Have at least one picture where you’re not with an army of other girls.

“Yeah, I think she’s the one 16 from the right. No, the one with blonde hair. She’s wearing a red scarf. Half smile. Michael Kors watch. Her watch reads 10:13 p.m. Come on, how do you not see that?”

One picture has to clearly identify you as YOU. The last thing I’d want to do is match you, meet at a bar, and find out you were the one that took the picture. The blonde girl that was wearing the red scarf was your mom and, honestly, I’m now focused on one thing...is she single?

3. Be single.

This goes for guys and girls. You’re ruining it for everyone. Don’t use Tinder, Hinge, OKCupid, Happn, Bumble, or any other app dating service if you’re not single and ready to mingle in a weird, digital sorta way. Sure, you can look around and see what’s out there. But you better swipe left. I don’t want to use my ingenious pickup line just to discover that your boyfriend is getting a laugh out of it. Unless his laughter starts to make him run short of oxygen. Everyone knows that if your boyfriend is unconscious, you can date other people. Just ask Seinfeld about the "coma etiquette."

4. Bikini pics.

Ahem. These are necessary. That is all.

I have them too. I just don’t know if girls appreciate them as much as I do.

5. Have pictures that aren’t just you.

Okay, okay, so I said you shouldn’t have pictures with an army of girlfriends (unless one of them is Stacy’s mom). But it’s also important that you have a few pictures with friends.

Is anybody else freaked out by the girls - or guys - who have 10 mirror selfies? Not only did MySpace die a long time ago, but now I’m afraid you may be the one who killed it.

6. Love thy family and thy Tinder will love thee.

Stacy’s mom is hot. Chances are I may end up falling for her instead of you. But if you’re looking at it from a girl’s perspective, you actually want to see that a guy has a sense of family.

For that reason, guys, your pictures with mom deserve a spot in the Tinder lineup. Showing love for your family could earn you a few sentimental rightswipes from the ladies. Don’t forget to tell your mom that she’s been unknowingly pimping you out on Tinder.

I do realize that most of the rightswipe deterrents I pointed out here were visual cues...a.k.a. I’m shallow. 

But on Tinder, shallow is almost mandatory. The very idea of grabbing someone’s pixelated face and dragging it off the screen to show your affection is inherently just a tad superficial.

Comment below with any rightswipe deterrents you’ve seen in the past or present that I may have neglected. After all, I'm only one man. One shallow and empty man.