I thought we might have been able to overcome the Tinder takeover. Turns out that rightswiping will inevitably become muscle memory. In the year 2020, everyone will have met “online.” By that time, I also expect Uber and Google to have successfully achieved world domination. The driverless taxi that is deep linked for Search Engine Optimization (SEO) will soon be taking your child to dance class.

But wait. Hold up. Hold the smartphone.

You don’t need to do digital dating. Just because everyone and their mothers think that online dating is now the norm doesn’t mean it’s normal. In fact, if you’ve read any of my previous posts, you would know that it’s quite the opposite.

Normal is meeting people in real life. Ever heard the story of how Adam rightswiped on Eve? No, but it was beautiful.

Let’s say you’ve given digital dating a try. You’ve even tasted success. Maybe you’ve dated a couple Tinder crushes. But now you’re back to square one...single-ness.

Try going out and meeting people in real life. It will feel like a breath of fresh air. To be honest, people are uglier when they’re not on a Retina display. You should think of that as an advantage. Ugly people are way more approachable.

If you’ve ever tried to combine digital dating with real life dating, you know the “breath of fresh air” feeling I’m describing. Somehow, the person you met in real life is safer, more respectable, and even eats organic food. The Tinder person binge munches on Cheetos and smells like goo glistened raw chicken.

It’s hard to go back to Cheetos and raw breast meat after you’ve tasted GMO-free green juice. Wait, maybe that’s not the best example. All of those foods will have you in tears.

In my opinion, the breath of fresh air happens only because you’ve been too focused on digital dating. Again, the norm usually isn’t normal. Everything in moderation is key. Remember that relative you hate? They’re not all that bad when you see them once every decade...or century. What about that right brain you’ve neglected while you punch away in Excel? Feels pretty good to visit a museum once a week to loosen up those creative neurons.

Moderation is key. Especially when it comes to digital dating. I had a friend that had a legitimate digital dating calendar. A damn calendar. When she met a person in real life, she would actually poke their belly button and try to swipe left or right. It became a problem at bars.

You might say that meeting people in real life is easier said than done. Sure, I get that. So here’s a tip: Do things you like to do. Like to play tennis? Join a tennis league. Like to write? Join a poetry club. These are the types of places where you’ll find people that have the same interests as you. Conversation will strike because it has to. Ever been a club or meetup where no one talked? Other than the mime group on meetup.com, there should be plenty of words flying around.

So help us all and try to meet some people in real life. It’ll be a nice break from the world of pixelated pain. It might even help fend off the Uber and Google takeover. Keep driving your kid to dance class in the meantime.