I am officially writing this blog post from the hawt city of Miami. Well, technically Miami Beach. Either way, it’s warm and there’s sun and water and beaches and sharks and Cubans. LOTS of Cubans.

Instead of taking a flight down here from Boston, I decided to take the easy route and drive for three days straight. It was so comfy that I still can’t feel my ass even after Therapeutic Ass Recovery (TAR). I might even become a professional ass therapist if this whole advertising thing doesn’t work out. I’ll just sit on that passion for now.

Accompanying me on this pavement escapade was my mother. She’s funky and adventurous so a perfect companion for the journey. Along the way, we stopped in a couple places. Not only for intermittent ass recovery, but also to explore and get some well-deserved rest.

We stopped in three cities: College Park, MD, Charleston, SC, and Savannah, GA. I think it will be fun to play a little game of road trip Tinder.

1. College Park, MD

Sport-centric, young, clean, and close to D.C. This city had me questioning why I went to school at the University of Connecticut in Storrs, CT instead of U Maryland.

The cherry blossom trees were getting all up in my face and I was unsurprisingly really into it. College Park is about 40 minutes from Washington, D.C., but I wasn’t at all bored by the collegiate yet grown up city of College Park. There’s enough to do even for a stoned senior skipping his early morning Friday science lab.

Tinder evaluation: Right swipe.

2. Charleston, SC

Holy southern charm. Charleston was soft, bright, clean, and calming. It’s an easy city that hangs by the water where people are genuinely happy to meet you. The historic part of the city is lined with cobblestone roads, pastel architecture, and smotheringly cozy coffee shops. I almost didn’t want to leave. My car had a semi-nervous breakdown in Charleston so we actually almost didn’t leave. But we persevered.

Tinder evaluation: Super Like.

3. Savannah, GA

ilysm. For real. Or should I say, “for real, y’all.” Boom, I’m practically a southerner. The food in Savannah satisfied my soul. I nearly got down on one knee and proposed to a panini. It was crafted in a restaurant located in someone’s house. Yeah, their house.

The people in Savannah were just as nice as the residents of Charleston so score points for both cities.

The streets and parks of Savannah are crown molded by “trees with hair.” These trees have a plethora of beards hanging from their branches that block out the sun in unique ways that almost create a kaleidoscope effect as you look through them towards the sky. Needless to say, that’s a tad bit different than Boston.

I felt calmed, but also excited, by Savannah. Sort of like a first date where, instead of setting up a second date, you fall in love and elope.

Tinder evaluation: I would have super liked, but I already gave that award to Charleston. We all know that’s a once a day sort of power. Instead, I’ll read this one’s Tinder bio and snag her Instagram handle. Then I’ll right swipe and proceed to DM her on Insta. #TrueLove.

All in all, the road trip was memorable. I had the opportunity to see most of the east coast states and fell in love with a few of ‘em.

The destination had always been Miami, but the journey never ends.