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Singles Say

Tall, Dark and Digital

Better Late Than Never

  By | Monday, 22 February 2016

I celebrated my best friend’s birthday a month after it happened...

 

There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think it made it even more fun. The 30 days of suspense between his birth date and his birthday (two very different things) only strengthened the celebration...and the hangover.

I read an article this week titled “5 Reasons Dating A Creative Person Should Scare You.” Stay with me as I change subjects since I have writer’s ADD. The article did a successful job of scaring me. I was scared mainly because of the reasons’ accuracy. One really stuck out to me more than the other four.

“When you break down our walls...beware.”

I don’t know if I consider myself a “creative person.” I think putting a label on a way of thinking can be cognitively debilitating. I just like to think about stuff. Sometimes weird stuff. Sometimes cool stuff. Sometimes stuff that can improve my best friend’s birthday celebration even if it’s one-twelfth of a calendar year tardy. Hint: beer improves parties. A lot of beer.

Speaking of tardy, I was the Lord of Lateness in high school. In one semester, I was documented as “tardy” 47 times. Key word: documented. There are about 90 total school days in each high school semester. That means I was late at least every other day. Not trynna brag, but that’s awesome.

I think the lateness - or lack of care to be early or punctual - stems from my Cuban ancestry. My mother was born and raised in Havana. Fortunately, she fled early enough to avoid living through the communist regime, which still exists today. It was the one time she’s been early.

Back to the article about why you should be scared to date me. If you consider me a “creative,” that is...

I have walls. I built them after getting hurt several times over the years. Getting hurt included a breakup with my girlfriend of two-and-a-half years and, well, that one stung the most.

So now I have walls. They come down eventually for the right person, but it takes time. And in a world where digital dating and social media drive quick decision-making on potential partners, it’s bad for me to have walls. Maybe I’ll install some sort path to circumvent my high barriers to love. Maybe a drawbridge so she can feel free take a harmless look around before being greeted by security.

When the walls fully collapse, and she sees, feels, hears, and experiences all of me, shit gets crazy. Creatives aren’t normal people. We amplify features about our partners and friends. Think you’re funny now? You’ll become Jim Carrey 2.0 if you hang with us for a few months. Think you know some great cat puns? You must be kitten me.

For anyone else in my shoes, anyone else that’s embodying feeling of hurt into unleapably tall emotional walls, I feel better just acknowledging that I have these defenses. It’s about time I loosened the keystones and opened up a little. At least now I’ve realized that it’s better to be vulnerable than single.

Better late than never.

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