John was Jean’s ex-husband, the one who actually Jean left so she could pursue Brendan.

I was at an event at G’s school, and John was there, looking miserable. Brendan and Jean were there also. It was hard watching them carry on like this was a perfectly normal situation, with no regard for the fact that all eyes were on them. So when the event was ending, I went and found John. We had never talked about what had happened to us both, but I realized that might be the smartest thing we could do. John immediately agreed, we exchanged numbers, and met up for drinks a few days later.

And drink we did. After two bottles of wine, we filled in all the spatial gaps, covered all the lies, and basically gave each other the complete relationship timeline, landing us both squarely facing the situation as it currently stood. I think we were both relieved to have each other.

We talked about the concerns for the kids we both had now that Brendan and Jean announced they were moving in together. We both recognized the signs of the total train wreck this relationship was destined to become, and knew that we were going to have to pick up the pieces for the kids. That was obviously our biggest concern. The kids were so young. We talked at length about how we could best navigate this, hoping to manage expectations to minimize any casualties.

We also agreed that this was just the start of conversations between the two of us. We knew we needed to have each other’s back, and we knew there would be more challenges ahead. We also knew there’d be a lot more wine in our future.

Over the next couple of years, as the relationship between Brendan and Jean unfolded and ultimately imploded, John and I would make good on that promise to each other. We really became each other’s best advocate, and I had never been happier to have his friendship and advisement at that stage of my life. Of course, more stages were to come.