I knew it would—there was so much strain for so long. It unfortunately was only a matter of time.

I needed to step in and do damage control with the kids. It was such a confusing time for them. Brendan had sold the “we’re a family, this is your second Mom and these are your sisters” scenario so hard, and now they were left with nothing. The relationship’s sever was immediate.

The kids were obviously saddened by the news. The home they were all building, the paint they had chosen, the rooms that were promised to them were all gone. They wouldn’t be seeing Jean anymore and wouldn’t be seeing her girls, the “family” they had been spending their time with since before Brendan and I were divorced. Their new sisters were gone. And Jean was gone.

We talked at length about how life sometimes delivers unexpected changes. We talked about their sadness; we talked about their loss. We talked about the choices that were made. I assured them of their father’s love and devotion to them, and tried my best to help them through every bit of the unknown. Again, I turned up the dependability tenfold. Nothing slipped by me.

Honestly, I could have shot Brendan for dragging the kids through it all. He so desperately wanted to move forward with his life. And I get it. Everyone deserves that. But it was just driven by such a blind selfishness. He never stepped back to look at things. He never once hesitated in his introduction of Jean into their lives. He pushed and pushed on them that they were a family. He jumped in with both feet, and he was going to make it work, all be damned. He took everyone along for the ride, myself included.

I didn’t know what was going to happen next with Brendan, but what I did know was that this experience shaped me. It hardened me a bit, good or bad. It showed me, in plain sight, how I would gingerly approach any new relationship. I knew I would never bring that uncertainty into their lives.

And then I found out the next step: Brendan announced he was going to move back to New York.

And now to tell the kids.