That "Oh holy crap" feeling, “how am I ever going to do this?” My kids were 1 and 4 at the time, and I honestly look back on those first years and still wonder how I pulled it off.

I will never forget my first plane ride with them alone. Just navigating security made me break into a full on sweat, never mind realizing that my carefully packed toys, games and snacks only carried me though the first 20 minutes of a 3-hour flight. I was mentally prepared for it to be a long day. But nothing was more humbling than holding one crying child on my lap and having my arm around the other crying child because their ears were bothering them with the change in altitude.

That plane ride for me highlighted the “alone” part of single parenting to my newly divorced self. The passengers on the plane were lovely. There was not one comment, not one sideways glance (that I noticed anyway, don’t forget I was very busy sweating), but not having your someone to share a knowing glance with, or a hand squeeze that said “we’ll get through it”, or even to have that person to call laughing and say “you’ll never believe that flight”, well, that made for a tough day.

But one crappy plane ride did not define me. The kids and I got back on that plane to return home, and we’ve been flying every year since. One of many things I have learned about myself in this journey is that I have incredible resolve, and it is one characteristic of myself I really love. And when you hit a parenting challenge, alone in parenting, it may just be a plane ride kind of day, but you get through it. And then you get on with it (maybe with Children’s Benadryl for flying, don’t judge).

I have been doing just that for the last 8 years. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been so deeply and incredibly satisfying. I have amazing kids. They are smart, well adjusted and have a great ability to laugh at themselves. They have weathered their share of disappointments, and emerged stronger for it. And while there have been many days when I want to rip my hair out and snuggle up to an intravenous wine/Xanax drip, at my core is a deep, deep love I have for my kids and the life we have built together. I think it gets done with a lot of humor, a smidge of yelling and unending forgiveness. Not always in that order. And frankly, I am stinking good at it.