I follow a bunch of other photographers online. One such photographer goes by the moniker Portraits of America. This photographer travels around and shoots portraits of people he finds on the street. But what makes his work compelling is not so much the image but the accompanying interview. Each subject reveals something personal, anything from a light-hearted anecdote to a painful memory. It helps you to immediately connect with the subject. I couldn’t help but feel empathetic about a post I read last week, which I’m sharing here:

“I’ve recognized a pattern in my life that came over me again last night at a gathering. It’s all very complicated and hard to put into words. I had to participate, but I didn’t believe I had anything of value to offer—I felt trapped, but I couldn’t leave. It’s the pressure versus resistance to participate in life. It’s a lack of valuing my perspective and what I have to contribute in any given situation, whether it’s on a micro level (like the gathering last night) or career options or the niches we have to fit ourselves into because of the way the world is structured. This might be a unique thing that developed from my childhood, but finding the roots of that feeling can get very mental. I’ve tried to understand it several times throughout my life, but it’s almost like an organizing experience that I’m trying to avoid. It’s hard to talk about and understand. It’s almost distant from the actual experience. Essentially, I have this painful, vacuous, inverted feeling. It’s a denial of life. – Portraits of America/Boulder, CO”

Without going into deep detail, a lot of this resonates with me but I’ll be brief. To say I have felt in part similar to this during the last five years would be an understatement. Losing my job of eight years and the subsequent long-term unemployment has probably brought these feelings. Rejection while searching for a job is horrible. Reaching out to people, trying to interact, and receiving no reply at all is even worse. I need to work but, professionally, it has made me feel like I have nothing of value to offer.

Personally, I like to think that I’m a well-rounded individual. I have a lot of interests. I read and have a general knowledge about a lot of things. Sometimes I think I’m one of those “knows a little about a lot but not a lot about anything” people. I don’t think anyone would refer to me as a “know-it-all.” At least I hope not. These days I get the feeling that what I add to conversations falls on deaf ears. Somewhere along the way I feel that people stopped listening to what I have to say. I question the value of my perspective (the irony here is that I’m writing a blog about my perspective). Of course, the only thing worse than someone not caring about your perspective is not asking for it at all.

But I am beginning to realize, or maybe remember, that the remedy is to seek out people of a like nature that enjoy the same things I do. I must find people who want to know about me just as much as I want to know about them.

We all have something to contribute. We all have something to say. It’s just a matter of finding the people who will respect, appreciate and value that which we have to offer. And in turn we will be a happier self.