Print this page

Singles Say

Tall, Dark and Digital

Where Did We Meet? Um...

  By | Tuesday, 08 September 2015

There, there. It’s all right. There are worse things than...

 

telling mom you met your lover on Tinder. Just imagine if you found your soulmate on FarmersOnly.com. Have fun explaining to your industrialist father that it was love at first fig tree. Actually figs are awesome. So tell dad to get off his John Deere and accept the wrinkled sweetness of digital dating.

Tinder’ing is forever going to be awkward. Digital dating actually working is even more awkward. When you hit it off with a fellow rightswiper, you never think about the consequences. Oh, but there are consequences.

Can you really get over that you met online?

This goes further than just app digital dating. Online dating has been around for much longer than the rightswiping underworld ruler named Tinder.

The answer is no. You cannot overcome the fact that you met online. You just need to come to accept it. Remember when you thought you could be a mutli-sport professional athlete? Or that you could win the National Spelling Bee after spelling Schwarzenegger correctly? Well, I remember. Although they were impressive aspirations, Schwarzenegger is now autocorrectable...deal with it.

You’re a pioneer

Digital dating is trendy. You’re on top of the movement. You hip little rightswiper, you.

That’s how you need to angle your digital dating disclosure. Make other people realize they are missing out. FOMO is a powerful mechanism especially in the digital world. You can even dramatize how you met your Hinge bae. For example, say something like, “She reached out and grabbed me.” Just don’t mention the shallowness of the rightswipe after she grabbed you. Leave something up to the imagination.

Everybody’s doing it

You’re not alone. At any given bar on any given night, you’ll likely notice any given number of OkCupid dates in progress. Just like wearing iPhones on our wrists, it’s the way things are headed.

Meeting people online, whether it be a Tinder Triumph, a Hinge Hot Mess or even a Match.com Miracle, is what people do now. Sure, you can still find your soulmate while at a pumpkin patch sucking down cider donuts and battling a sugar high. Chances are you probably met them online first and the real life run in is just a coincidence.

One and done

After you tell the fam that you met online, there’s no reason to ever discuss it again.

Forming a durable relationship that started on an app is hard enough. Hearing about it 1,000 times from your grandma only makes it harder. Sorry that your granny had the luxury of meeting her hubby while waiting in line for the first ever Mr. Softee. After sugar cones from a pseudo food truck, they probably went to a drive-in movie, got drunk on Johnny Rockets milkshakes, and that’s when gramps gave granny his school pin. All while wearing those four-wheeled roller skates. Ah, love.

Just kidding, I prefer tequila, EDM, and Converse.

Prepare to get judged

Haters.

Some people will never understand digital dating. And that’s fine. Their loss. They’ll never experience the joy of seeing “Congratulations, you have a new match!” Although most of the time, that message is followed up by a creepy pickup line.

How do you get over the haters? Do what’s best for you. If Tinder is working, great. If not, well, try Hinge. If that doesn’t work, immediately go to FarmersOnly and come back to thank me in a few months. Bring me some organic produce or it didn’t happen.