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Hello although its tough to go thru this you will find solace that it wasnt you that did anything it was the distrust of your boyfriend. Dont allow him or her to make you feel alone there are many others along side you that are suffering the same fate as you. God will never allow you to go thru anything you cannot handle! He walks along side you carrying you at times when you no longer can walk in pain. Know that you will recover as you allow yourself to heal completely inside and out and you will become a stronger woman and person that will have ger eyes wide open to assist others suffering the same fate and will smile at every obstacle you face in your walk forward and then and only then will you begin to forgive those that have hurt you.